


My Dinner With Richard

by jonesyslug



Category: IT (1990), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Advice, Friendship, Imagine any Stan and Richie it could work for any version...., Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:42:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24415315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonesyslug/pseuds/jonesyslug
Summary: Richie interrupts a casual dinner with an odd question about life.
Kudos: 7





	My Dinner With Richard

**Author's Note:**

> Listen. I woke up today feeling pretty rotten about myself because I'm going through the issues mentioned in this fic, and for some reason, my brain played it out as a nice little conversation between Richie and Stan where they talk through it and help each other deal with it. It made me feel better to write. Maybe it'll make someone feel better to read. Thank you. Hope you enjoy! (Also please watch My Dinner With Andre and then if you do come talk to me about it, DM me on Twitter which is linked in my bio and plugged in the end note as well)

"Do you ever just feel like a huge failure over things that happen to you?" 

Stan looked up from his plate, one eyebrow up and one down, gracefully poised in inquisition. He had perfected the look sometime in his childhood, and Richie could never manage to shake the feeling that the sharpness in his eyes meant he already knew what you were going to say, but he'd let you say it anyway. 

"What do you mean, exactly?" Stan asked, putting his fork down.

Richie stabbed his fork into the last remaining chunk of lettuce on his plate. The usually satisfying crunch of the iceberg lettuce did nothing to soothe him. 

He was aware that he was hunched over, even pouting a little, but Stan had probably seen him looking more pitiful, if he thought about it. 

And he wasn't going to. 

"I'm on  _ two  _ antidepressants, Stan.  _ Two."  _

Stan looked down at the table, and dabbed at the corners of his mouth with his napkin. 

"Well, are they working?" 

Richie blinked. Stan was balling up his napkin and dropping it onto his mostly empty plate. He wasn't looking at Richie. 

"Well, I-" Richie sputtered. "I guess so. I mean, yeah, mostly." 

Stan glanced up at him, finally, blessedly,  _ horribly.  _ It broke the tension that was building in Richie's chest, but the look had no sympathy for such a petty complaint. Richie knew, in his heart, that Stan was not void of sympathy, not even now, over this. But Stan always encouraged Richie towards logic over emotion. Stan was a very emotional man himself, but what Richie lacked in logic when facing his own emotions tended to fall to Stan's responsibility. And it was a fairly great one. 

"Medications get adjusted all the time, for any number of reasons. Your body gets used to them and over time, they lose their effectiveness. You've been on antidepressants for a long time, haven't you, Rich?" 

Richie shrugged and blinked, then squeezed his eyes shut. His contacts were irritating him. 

"Yeah, I have." He finally admitted. 

"And you like your life better when you're on antidepressants than when you weren't, don't you?" 

Richie grumbled slightly in his throat. Stan was not condescending to him, just trying to get him to say the objective facts that he looked over while feeling rotten about himself, but he still felt a bit like a child. 

"Of course." He said, crossing his arms, and looking away from Stan. "I mean, my dick isn't as feisty as it used to be, but what's a few orgasms when compared to another psych ward stint?" 

Stan examined Richie. There hadn't been any humor in his voice, and was chewing on the inside of his cheek, which he always did when he felt nervous or irritated. Stan sighed quietly. He'd gotten Richie to the logical conclusion, but it hadn't made him feel any better. It wasn't what he wanted, right now. 

"Yeah, sometimes I do feel like a massive failure over stuff I can't control." 

Richie's eyes wandered slowly back to Stan's face. "Really?" 

Stan nodded. "Sometimes I feel so absolutely horrified and stupid because of my anxiety. I know,  _ I know  _ in my brain, that whatever is happening, it's just part of life, and it's normal and not scary and-" Stan cleared his throat. "And then I have to make a phone call and my hands are shaking. I have to drive over a bridge and I can't breathe. I have to- I have to-" Stan was getting more emotive with every word. "I have to be in the house to let the damn plumber in, and my heart is jumping around in my chest like I'm waiting on death to knock on my door." Stan said, with a little laugh of disbelief. 

Richie's facial expression had softened. His arms were no longer crossed. Stan gave him a little smirk. 

"Brains are complicated things, man. I think feeling like shit over things you can't control… Feeling like a failure sometimes just because of the way you happen to exist? I think that is unfortunately just part of the human experience." 

Richie nodded slightly. "I didn't know your anxiety was that bad, man. You always seem cool as a cuke to me." 

Stan shrugged. "Well, what about you? You're always joking around, laughing loud enough to break the sound barrier… You don't seem depressed. We're all just… I dunno, we're all just here." 

Richie gave him an amused look. "What the hell does that mean?" 

Stan's eyes darted around slowly, like he was physically looking for the right words to say. "Like, I just mean- I mean we're humans, we're on earth, we're just existing, and we are the way we are. We could endlessly dissect every thought and emotion we have, break down the way we present ourselves to the world until we find singular incidents that caused us to start compensating for perceived failings, or…"

Richie raised his eyebrow. "Or what?" 

"Or we could order dessert." 

Richie grinned. "Hey, by the way, Stan…"

"Yeah, Rich?" 

"Next time you need a plumber or something, I can let 'em in." 

Richie's eyes lit up as Stan's dimples deepened with his smile. 

"Thanks, man." 

**Author's Note:**

> Yo I know you all haven't heard from me in a while ! (I'm chipping away at chapter six of Shine & Shadow, I swear it's in progress). I also have some projects going on on Twitter. I have an SMAU pinned on @jonesyslug (which is also where I talk about my other writing and you can get little behind the scenes stuff on anything.... Like Shine & Shadow 👀) 
> 
> I also have an interactive story going on on Twitter, @storiesuntoldau 
> 
> So, I hope y'all will check those out, if you're so inclined!


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